It is not easy to train the world’s most talented secret force. The complexity of this training cannot be understated. Beyond the issue of how we do this in secret (the answer, of course, is secret bases located throughout the world, see Our Secret Bases), we have to deal with the complexity of the physical conditions of our agents. Hand-to-hand training is an important asset, but only if you have hands.

Our Mossad Seal, for example, is somewhat less proficient in hand-to-hand, but he’s incredible in under-sea espionage. Our Zionist Shark is also an expert in under-sea espionage activity, but he’s quite awful when it comes to flying (he gets air sick and it cost us a fortune to get the F16 clean!).

Most Mossad training (well, except for the Seal, Shark, Jellyfish and dolphin) include the following abilities:

  • To run long distances (minimum of 40 miles per 2 hours)
  • To hold one’s breath for no less than 4 minutes (the longest is 7)
  • To climb (without equipment) a 100 meter high tower
  • To see a minimum of 1 kilometer at night and with a blindfold
  • To produce fake passports using Adobe® Photoshop™, scissors, paper, color printer, and glue

A special twitter account (for example @ZionistShark, @ZionistWolf, @ZionistSeal, @ZionistPenguin, etc.)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *